[Elijah] sat down under a solitary broom tree and prayed that he might die. “I have had enough, Lord,” he said. “Take my life, for I am no better than my ancestors who have already died.”1 Kings 19:4
Yesterday we looked at the first reality that can change your marriage: I am responsible for my own attitude. Today, we’ll see reality number two: Attitude affects actions. Attitudes are so important because they affect my behavior and words. I may not be able to control my environment or the issues I face—sickness, an alcoholic spouse, a teenager on drugs, a job loss, aging parents, and so forth—but I am responsible for what I do within my environment. My attitude will greatly influence my behavior.
The prophet Elijah gives us a vivid example of this. Fresh from defeating the false prophets of Baal in a showdown at Mount Carmel and proving that the Lord is God, Elijah fell into despair when his life was threatened by Queen Jezebel. His attitude of defeat led him to go into hiding by himself and essentially ask God to take his life. God refreshed Elijah, who then returned to his work as a prophet, but certainly at this point in his life, his attitude greatly affected his actions.
It’s the same with us. If I focus on the negative, I’m more likely to give my spouse critical, condemning words. My behavior will fall into one of two categories: I’ll do things to hurt my spouse, or I’ll withdraw and consider leaving my spouse.
On the other hand, if I look for the positive in my marriage, then I’m more likely to talk positively, to speak affirming words to my spouse, and to do something that has the potential to enhance life for both of us.
Father, sometimes I tend to wallow in my despair and disappointment, much like Elijah did. That negative attitude seeps its way into my heart and affects my actions as well. Help me to keep my attitude under control before it negatively affects my behavior and my spouse.
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